But first, random picture!
My uncle's '56 Chevy. Don't let the "56" fool you, the front end nearly lifted off the ground while he literally hit the floor with the pedal going down Las Posas. And if you follow the link and view the original size you can see the reflection of me John and my dad all taking pics of it. Obviously this is my version. Check my dad's stream to see his. :)
So here goes!
If you don't care about the bad news, feel free to follow down halfway to the good news. Only a fair warning, I'm going to be completely honest and talk about what its like to find out I spent 8 months with a slut only to realize I wasn't the one being cheated on, I was actually the one she was cheating on someone else with... so, you've been warned....
Friday night I get an email from courtney's sister via facebook saying she has bad news about courtney. For anyone left in the dark so far, I dated courtney since february of this year up until 4 days ago, and she said that it was because I was too controlling because I saw her phone bill and noticed she was making calls to her ex on an hourly basis every day for hours on end for 2 months straight. I said the breakup is mutual because if she didn't dump me now, I would have dumped her tomorrow because she was cheating. She said no, she was talking to Jim's son, Kyle, and that she would never go back to Jim, she is certain with all her heart she hates him and will never be with someone like him. Again for those of you left in the dark, Jim is her ex, he raped her when she was 14, and she was living with him for 3 years since she was 16. Oh yeah and Jim is around 40 or 46 years old going after a girl younger than his own son. Not to mention we got a restraining order on Jim when we found him stalking her at work and leaving things in her car when she left it unlocked between pizza deliveries. Kyle, the son, is in jouvenile hall. So obviously... there is no way in hell Courtney was talking to a kid with a 15 minute phone privilage every other hour for 25-45 minutes each call. The phone company doesnt lie.
So ANYWAYS, back on track, I finally get the beans spilled that not even 3 days after dumping me, she is, no exageration, MARRIED to Jim. Turns out her entire relationship with me wasn't a rebound after dumping Jim, it was more like an affair while she was still WITH Jim. I took a real hit to my self esteem and realized just how worthless it is to be cheated on by 3 girls in a row. I can't hold it in anymore. I have no intention of retaliating or lashing out but I did send her an honest comment on her facebook as follows: "
you're a disgrace... when jim beats the hell out of you dont come running back, i dont wish bad things on you, but your walking into the very thing i tried to protect you from, and as hard as it is to see you ruin your life over a guy like ...jim, i can only be honest and say... i will not attend your funeral, nor will i mourn any loss when you reap the benefits of marriage to a guy who stalked you for 3 years. you are dead to me and i have nothing but emptiness in a place that i once held in my heart specially for you. you run and marry jim not even 3 days after dumping me... and here i thought i did something wrong, but truth comes out in the open and we all find out what a tramp you are... the next time you cheat on jim, it wont be with me thank God, but more importantly, you will learn the hard way what it means to be and adult and live up to the decisions you make... have a nice life, i hope its short for your sake because you are walking into nothing but suffering and any retard other than you can see that. good riddance"
And to think i considered marriage in the future with that... thing. but I'm honestly glad to find out she is the one ruining her life and not me. Yeah, it really hurts and I thought I was in love, but with all the things I've been through in the last few years I've learned to just accept things at face value and realize that my life is a joke. The irony of it is that I'm the only one that seems to have missed the que for laughter. After throwing up and calling her to tell her that her stuff is in the trash and that the world is in fact full circle, so this whole thing she is pulling on me is only going to bring about her own pain in the end and that I tried to show her true love but she only wanted sex and a house to live in away form her parents. bah. She is in fact dead to me and I have every intention of moving passed all this as soon as possible, but for future relationships I have learned that my judgement is flawed to the worst possible degree. Every girl I have ever asked out cheated on me and the one that didn't cheat on me ended in tragedy. If its some kind of joke where I'm meant to live my life single, then so be it. I'm done making first moves. When I find the right girl, I will not be looking for her, she will have to be up front out in the open and in plain sight with no secrets or weird stalker ex's and 100% NO long distance! Yeah... I'm pretty much done talking about that now
So now the good news. still with me? Doubt it, but maybe I got lucky and you just skipped the bad news and came straight to this paragraph...
last night i spent the night at Rose's house (I had to get out of my room before I did something I would regret. I'm not safe alone in my room when I realize my entire life is a series of tragedies false hope) watching a movie that I regret entirely...Solitairy man... she said it was a comedy, the whole movie was about cheating and fooling around with guys and girls, and the opening song was solitary man by Johny Cash. If you don't know the lyrics, well.. here is the first 15 seconds of the song.
"was mine 'til the time that I found her
Holdin' Jim
And lovin' him
Holdin' Jim
And lovin' him
Don't know that I will but until I can find me
A girl who'll stay and won't play games behind me
I'll be what I am
A solitary man"
A girl who'll stay and won't play games behind me
I'll be what I am
A solitary man"
So yeah... not Rose's fault, she never knew what the movie was about, it said comedy on netflix so we tried it. epic fail. but once again, the irony of my (joke)life continues to play jokes even in my lowest times.
But then today I woke up, went home, showered and shaved, finally got Courtney to pick up the phone so I could call her a tramp and hang up on her for the last time, then went to oxnard to pick up MOMO and took her to Oxnard High School to watch the band competition. I'm not quite the band geek that she prides herself as, but I will admitt I can keep up with the drumline and would have taken it seriously if I didn't already take up my time with work and sports in school. But it was actually really fun, and a few of the schools did an incredible job! I watched the DCI tournament a few years back and it was amazing. And while these high schoolers really knocked my socks off today, I'll still be honest and say I favor the blue devils, or the USMC drum and bugle corps, or especially the silent drill platoon. But still, it was awesome. And to make things better, Morgan and I went back to my place and watched Team America, Superbad, Yes Man, and Kung Pow. I'm proud to say I finally have a friend who shares the same taste in... pretty much everything I do. Movies especially! And as we were watching the movies, I realized something that I had long forgotten back when I was still single in high school: Having good friends to laugh, cry, be random idiots with, tell war stories and embarrassing truths to, and just cuddle up and watch a movie with, is far more important than getting married.
It dawned on me that back in high school when I was still considered popular and had a fairly large group of friends, that is exactly what we did on the daily basis. And ever since I discovered one on one relationships with women, I've completely lost sight of what it means to have a life. I spent so much of my effort and time trying to find a girl who understands true love and committment that I forgot the promise I made my friends in high school that if I ever settled down with someone it would be with my best friend. And so today was a good experience as I re-learned the most fundamental rules of relationships. Sex jeapordizes a friendship, but dating outside of your circle of friends is just stupid. And I don't mean limit your options to people you already hang with, I simply mean every marriage is at risk if you don't establish firm friendship first. Courtney and I... we were never friends. I allowed lust empty promises blind me to who she really was. Even as I read the messages between her and her playmate, I continued to fool myself into believing that I could just forgive her and she would want to change for our sake, but I ended up having to forgive her on a weekly basis and it came to a point where we had to just admitt that we went too far too fast and never got to know eachothers' bad sides, boy was I in for a surprise! haha.
Well, that's about it for my rant today. Now on to other pressing issues.
There is a jumping spider somewhere in my room that Momo and I failed to eliminate, and now I'm worried about waking up with yet ANOTHER spider in my covers with me tomorrow morning. It really isn't a good thing to wake up to, believe me. So the Raid and the big shoe are by my bedside just in case I need to make a late night aracnissassination run. That spider's gonna get a BOOT TO THE HEAD!
Oh and in further news, I just learned that all this time I've been playing MW2 and black ops, I could have been using my bluetooth with my PS3. So after finally setting it up, I also found that there is a voice changer option to make my voice chipmunk-ish or really deep like the guy from Saw. So now as people cry and complain about finding 50 Cal rounds lodged between their teeth, I simply laugh in a squeaky chipmunk voice and then tell them in an evil Saw voice that the infidels came out to play, so you may as well turn the game off and hide under the bed til I'm done. And, as expected from the wide range of 11-13 year olds dominating the online war games, they always try to convince everyone that I'm either a really ugly chick or a pedafile who has strange fits of michael-jackson-related vocal problems. Makes me wonder what schools are teaching these teens these days now that the internet social networking sites have replaced block parties and boys-n-girls clubs, it seems everyone just assumes the worst about everyone else online... in which case they deserve to get shot repeatedly and camped until they get so fed up that they turn the game off and go outside and act their age. See? my over-aggressive gaming is an act of reaching out to anti-social teens!... or something like that. :)
It dawned on me that back in high school when I was still considered popular and had a fairly large group of friends, that is exactly what we did on the daily basis. And ever since I discovered one on one relationships with women, I've completely lost sight of what it means to have a life. I spent so much of my effort and time trying to find a girl who understands true love and committment that I forgot the promise I made my friends in high school that if I ever settled down with someone it would be with my best friend. And so today was a good experience as I re-learned the most fundamental rules of relationships. Sex jeapordizes a friendship, but dating outside of your circle of friends is just stupid. And I don't mean limit your options to people you already hang with, I simply mean every marriage is at risk if you don't establish firm friendship first. Courtney and I... we were never friends. I allowed lust empty promises blind me to who she really was. Even as I read the messages between her and her playmate, I continued to fool myself into believing that I could just forgive her and she would want to change for our sake, but I ended up having to forgive her on a weekly basis and it came to a point where we had to just admitt that we went too far too fast and never got to know eachothers' bad sides, boy was I in for a surprise! haha.
Well, that's about it for my rant today. Now on to other pressing issues.
There is a jumping spider somewhere in my room that Momo and I failed to eliminate, and now I'm worried about waking up with yet ANOTHER spider in my covers with me tomorrow morning. It really isn't a good thing to wake up to, believe me. So the Raid and the big shoe are by my bedside just in case I need to make a late night aracnissassination run. That spider's gonna get a BOOT TO THE HEAD!
Oh and in further news, I just learned that all this time I've been playing MW2 and black ops, I could have been using my bluetooth with my PS3. So after finally setting it up, I also found that there is a voice changer option to make my voice chipmunk-ish or really deep like the guy from Saw. So now as people cry and complain about finding 50 Cal rounds lodged between their teeth, I simply laugh in a squeaky chipmunk voice and then tell them in an evil Saw voice that the infidels came out to play, so you may as well turn the game off and hide under the bed til I'm done. And, as expected from the wide range of 11-13 year olds dominating the online war games, they always try to convince everyone that I'm either a really ugly chick or a pedafile who has strange fits of michael-jackson-related vocal problems. Makes me wonder what schools are teaching these teens these days now that the internet social networking sites have replaced block parties and boys-n-girls clubs, it seems everyone just assumes the worst about everyone else online... in which case they deserve to get shot repeatedly and camped until they get so fed up that they turn the game off and go outside and act their age. See? my over-aggressive gaming is an act of reaching out to anti-social teens!... or something like that. :)
OMG this is sad/happy/funny/weird.
ReplyDeleteLove it!